hmmmm so yea.
more people now read the journal i dont read in
rather then thw one i do rite it. ripoutmyheart

tomorrow is going to be so happy...because ive been needing fun so badly..
*pokeez with my boy chris
*slumber party with mr.mike

but for now i am oh so bored....help

ryan you should call me sometime.
and and and
talked to two people i love today..who i never get to talk to..holly and chaz oh <333
holly feel better ..

eww now i have three journals. thats gross.

so people should stop reading this journal i dont rite in.
and sart readign the on ei do rite in Ripoutmyheart
its lots of fun...and i rite in it to much..and post lots of pictures of everyone..
and its exactly how i want it.

i could love you so good...

yea so more people should add my new journal...

ripoutmyheart

rawr.

so angelfacepixi is dead.
i have a new livejournal
you should all add me!

the name is ripoutmyheart *isnt that spectacularly emo*

um and me and trina are giveing up the computer for 5 days..haha..

i think some how im going to have to change you completely. its for the better.
i think you were even happier before. things were just better then.

and well maybee you dont...but i do...i get attached to people..to quickly..and soemtimes a lot...how is miss unstable..miss emotionally unstable gonna deal with this.
not very well im guessing.. just say youll come back...grrrrr dont because that would be stupid...i just want to hear it ... i just want to hear a lot of things that probably arnt true

im sorrie i rite so much...no actually im not...i should rite as much as i want...

i just am feeling so many things right now...
it could be soo good...it could be all i was looking for...i think it already is all you were looking for...now you can say goodbye. never look back. no worries.
its weird because i actually think that part of me beelives your the one taking it away from me....but i guess i know thats not true too..it just gives me someone to blame

why cant things just be how they were..
why cant things just be how they should be..
i have nothing to look forward too...well rome. but other than that..nothing really..
how can something your looking forward to so much..something so happy for you..
be soemthing i hate.

fuck. fuck. fuck. this is so many things put together..
and there no way i can fix any of it..at lease i dont think..
how do i put in to words what i want to say?..right now it seems impossible...

i hate this. i hate you. i hate this night. i hate how i feel. i hate that im gonna miss you so much. i hate that i love you. i hate fucking crying. i hate being lonely..i hate it when people go away and leave me. i hate that you dotn care. i hate that you hate me. i hate that you dotn feel like i do. i hate when things change for the worse. i hate that things will never be the same. i hate that i rite so much and cant get my point across. i hate this. i hate so many people. i hate when people dotn like me. i hate that i cant make you love me.
*i hate that no matter what i always end up left behind and lonely.*
i hate that youll probably never give me a REAL chance. i hate that none of this will change anyones mind. i hate that so few people really ever know me. i hate that so many of you judje me. i hate that people assume to much. i hate likeing you. i hate loveing you even more. i hate your face. i hate your smell. i hate that i know how you kiss. how you love. how you hug. how you fuck. i hate that i know you. i hate that ill probably never get enough. i hate that no one will prbably read this. i hate that the peope who do will probably being saying shit to them selves like..shes so emo...shut up..and things like that.
i hate that peopel dotn understand.. that i know that there are people out there with probelms way worse than mine . i hate my heart and i hate how i love. i hate how i always forgive and forget. i hate that youll probably never coem back. i hate that if you do , by then youll probably love someone eles. i hate that i even think of things like that. i hate that i think to much. i hate that im so emotional. i hate your heart. i hate your huge ego. i hate that your so immature. i hate that you still think you broke my heart. i hate that you think your so much better than me. i hate fashionXcore. i hate love. i hate pain. i hate that i cant be good at everythign i want . i hate that i forgot to call the library. i hate that my wrists hurt. i hate that when i kiss you i feel all tingly inside and i dotn fell like that ever. i hate that i want you to be mine. i hate that you dont want me to be yours. i hate that my room is soo dirty. i hate that soemtimes i feel like i have no one. i hate being single. i hate that your so beautiful. i hate that i KNOW i could make you happy.
i hate that ill never have the chance. i hate that i cant be with you more. i hate that you dont want to be with me more. i hate that people tihnk im a slut. i hate that your my weakness. i hate that you have no clue who i am. i hate that you still hate me. i hate that you can ruin my with any thing you say. i hate this teeth whitner stuff i have on right now. i hate that i know no one will read this far. i really hate that.
i hate that i could do this forever. i hate that i have ot go to school even longer now .
i hate that i have to get up tomorrrow. i hate that my hiar is fadeign and looks like shit all the time. i hate knowing i cant make you stay. i hate even more that i cant make you want to stay . i hate the most that i cant make coem back. i hate that ive probably spelled a lot of things wrong. and repeated myself a bunch. i hate all you kids who think your soo good looking ...and i hate even more when you talk about how cute you are it makes you seem ugly to me.
i hate this. i hate so much. i hate that i love. i hate that i love. i hate that i love.

i wanna a girl to ride ride ride...
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
**ya know...what would e so horrible about going out with me anyways?
: :: : :: : :: : :: : :: : :: : :: : :: : :: : :: : :: : :: :
and im so deflowering brandon as revenge.
::: :: : :: ::: :: : :: ::: :: : ::: :: :
and i feel weird.
...
oh and i got a new phone its sooo little and rad and people should start calling me on my phone cause ill actully probably start leaveing it on....yeayea

i want a boy to be all mine..thats not gonna happen..grr.

i want to see sarah beth like woah i miss htat little lady sooo much <33
i want to run up to her and give her a billion hugs and kiss's ..muah!

and wheres my #1 homegirl jalyn lately??

and look at all this love.....i heart these people...
yea im aloser who makes collages....shhhh..
i wish it was bigger..hmm

i dont know how to feel right now.

the xboyx i like lots is leaveing to go far away..SOON.
brooke will be alone again.. i dont like the thought of this much.
xboyx spent the night tonight..it was so many good times..ohh yes.
we also went to the movies with trina...very good.

um and mike.? is soo good looking in so many ways..yeayea..

i just put XsteveX in his bed ..hes soo gosh darn cute...

and whats up with emo boy *J*...dont tell me your mad at me for some reason that probably isnt even true too??

Date:	2002-11-22 22:38
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	impressed
Music:	PULP

saw punch drunk love again..i think it is just so absoloutly wonderful.aw yes .LOVE
i want to hang out with this elusive super sxe kid . . but i cant...grr..tomorrow?
umm i want to do soemthing right now....relaly badly...
brandon ditched me..sucka!
trina you should coem over right now.....hmmm

happy birthday billie

good good good times with XsteveX last night and thismorning... <333
umm yeaa..i ditched work today...didnt call.uh oh. then to the doctor..grrrr
tomorrow....SCENE DAY with brandon..he better not ditch me...hahahha i <3 him too
rawrr......uhm im tlakign trina were being really cool...and stuff

"why do we hate everyone"
"cause everyones so stupid...i bet if everyone was'nt so stupid we wouldnt hate them"
**********
i like a boy....who is
1.allergic to me
2.about to go away for a really long time..maybee forever
3.is to cute for me

hmmm al that put together does'nt look good....
well what can ya do. i guess..??

and im sorrie but a picture couldnt get much more beautiful then this


i dont want to be dumb anymore...gr.

and to you the one who hates me most ..im starting to miss you lots.

slumber party with XsteveX tonight...well hopefully.
uhmmm singing tonight..blehh...
im feeling better...i go so up and down all the time.


What Type Of Retro Gal Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

******************* wow boys can be nice...
angelpixirock: say soemthign nice tto me
YEAH IT IS KID: you
YEAH IT IS KID: are
YEAH IT IS KID: the kindest
YEAH IT IS KID: gentlest
YEAH IT IS KID: most beautifully sweet person
YEAH IT IS KID: ive ever known
YEAH IT IS KID: and i want to love you forever wiht all my heart
YEAH IT IS KID: in a way so that you would need nothing else but the love between us
YEAH IT IS KID: and so that youd know
YEAH IT IS KID: no matter what happened to either of us
YEAH IT IS KID: as long as we were together, everything would be ok

hahaha such a cheese ball i luv em.
i want to hang uot with steve now...

so lame..soo encredibly lame....
i felt so shitty today..but i was like ill get to hang out with steve after school and go soemwhere pretty and look at pretty things.....
but he went soemwhere with andrew instead...so then school was nooo good..then i was like well ill get to hang out with him tonight..now
"xlostlivesx: i dont think we are going to be able to hangout tonite."
i hate today. i hate looking forward to things..that dotn work out...i hate grrr
AND i could have hung out with bobby today who i never NEVER get to see...but instead i sat waiting around.........damn

i cant wait fo it to be the weekend again...lala..
im listening to the most beautiful music ever created..so much wonderfullnes
i want to like jump into it.and just live in this song..and be happy. and love.

fuck this night and fuck you.

my heart has been gettign tugged on a lot lately..and by about 3:30 this afternoon i think it was ripped comepletely out of my chest.

mr.chris baclift yesterday and was like theres a metior show tonight im comin over..
so he spent the night..and we really didnt do much of anything..we looked at the stars a lot..it was pretty although we didnt see that crazy metior shower i was oh so excited about.
today i have to go drop work off at school..blehh.
but then i think i get to hang out with boy..that makes me very happy <3

1. Reminds you of an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend:
bright eye's and glass jaw
2. Reminds you of an ex-friend:
the tinker bell song
3. Makes you cry:
bright eyes..
4. Makes you laugh:
kats rap
5. Makes you want to dance:
the fat boys..any song
6. Reminds you of the one you want:
the cure - pictures of you
7. Reminds you of the one you hate:
dashboard-age six racer
8. You never want to hear again:
anything by creed or bad religion
9. You want to get married to:
the cure - pictures of you ..radiohead-all
10. Sums up your teenage years:
avril lavigne-sk8r boy ...haha
1. You like to go to sleep to:
the cure..my sleep cd
12. You like to get ready to:
exploited or good charlotte..haha
13. You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for:
glassjaw *pat
14. You love the video more than the tune:
anything by DJ ashba..hehe..soo bad ..but so beautiful
15. You love which is from your favorite movie:
all the songs from the little mermaid
16. Makes you think of the moon:
nothing
17. Makes you think of stars:
nick drake-pink moon
18. Song that makes you think of the sun:
nothing
19. Makes you think of being alone:
bright eyes...dashboard..the cure
20. Helps to escalate your aggressive temper:
the exploited

arg i was feeling kind of bad..
i just wanted someone to be nice..
sorrie.

library now...grr..
hopefully some fun today..
and hope hope hopefull BOBBY tomorrow...yayayay

soo today was good.
went out with steve...we saw punch drunk love...it was soooo good..
then we gots some food...yep
now im home..and being advice girl..hehe...
umm i like you lots boy.

and you..i know im not supposed to talk or whatever but...
you have a crazy heart..
it's hard to tell who you really love and who you hate...
especially when you rite things like that about girls you hate

i love miss you.
*****************

hahaha
YerPhotoMyMemory: shit i'm sorry sweetheart i'm just too intoxicated to remember

PITY PARTY : ROUND 3

i feel so much better.

talked to XsteveX <333
then morgan quinn ryan jakob marty and ashley came to visit me..even though i told them ont to cause im sick....
**1 nice thing about jakob. he is very attractive. and can be pretty sweet..** hehe
look pictures...
( pictures pictures )

PITY PARTY : ROUND 2!!

Somebody save me life
I’ve fallen down hard.
And it’s not so easy to get up
When you’re hurting like this
Somebody out there is getting ready for me
I don’t know who you are
And here I am
Come find me
If you love me
Ill love you back like you couldn’t believe.
I’m slipping
Pull me back up
I’m feeling numb
Give me something to feel...
Show me there is something worth going through this for
Why did you turn Away
Why should I Care.
I don’t even know you
Why do I care? Maybe I don’t
But if I didn’t, it wouldn’t hurt this much.
I could get up. And feel
Somebody save my life. Because I can’t
OURS IS A STRONG KIND OF LOVE
OUR LOVE IS STRONG . . . . . .

PITY PARTY ** round one
just to get this out of the way
*last night was so much crazy fun.
thank you..ben trine chris jenna..then quinn morgan and ryan..
they all helped in the lots of fun.

but now i have hit an all time low. i dont think i could feel worse..i feel completely terrible
*im sick
* ( i know i said i didnt ) but the boy i love ...doesnt love me anymore...
*the most important person to me in the world...told me to leave him alone...and he doesnt care..my heart is broken. ouch.

*the boy i was really starting to like lots.and still do.and who made me very happy...told me last night "i think we should just be friends"
im alone again.

these things kill me.

im gonna go take a shower...and you know im goan right more later..so be ready..
sorry everyone...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCk
YOU AND YOU AND YOU..
I HATE YOU
no love.

why this day has sucked
*my heart hurts
*i dont love you anymore..and you dotn care baout me..i hate you
*cops harrasing me
*way late for school
*fucking asshole bus driver
* i cant even be a slut. haha


i cant wait till tonight...so much oblivion.